recenzja

YOU TALKIN’ TO ME?!

Don Kiluminati

Co miesiąc będę zamieszczał tu parę dialogów z jakiegoś filmu. Mogą być one zabawne lub poważne, długie lub krótkie. Ale mają być ciekawe. Jeśli Wy macie jakieś swoje ulubione to nadsyłajcie na adres powyżej.
„Reservoir Dogs”

(Grupa złodziei przed skokiem rozmawia w restauracji)
MR. BROWN
"Like a Virgin" is all about a girl who digs a guy with a big dick. The whole song is a metaphor for big dicks.
MR. BLUE
No it's not. It's about a girl who is very vulnerable and she's been fucked over a few times. Then she meets some guy who's really sensitive…
MR. BROWN
Whoa...whoa...time out Greenbay. Tell that bullshit to the tourists.
JOE
Toby...who the fuck is Toby? Toby...Toby...think...think...think...
MR. BROWN
It's not about a nice girl who meets a sensitive boy. Now granted that's what "True Blue" is about, no argument about that.
MR. ORANGE
Which one is "True Blue"?
NICE GUY EDDIE
You don't remember "True Blue"? That was a big ass hit for Madonna. Shit, I don't even follow this Tops In Pops shit, and I've at least heard of "True Blue."
MR. ORANGE
Look, asshole, I didn't say I ain't heard of it. All I asked was how does it go? Excuse me for not being the world's biggest Madonna fan.
MR. PINK
I hate Madonna.
MR. BLUE
I like her early stuff. You know, "Lucky Star," "Borderline" - but once she got into her "Papa Don't Preach" phase, I don't know, I tuned out.
MR. BROWN
Hey, fuck all that, I'm making a point here. You're gonna make me lose my train of thought.
JOE
Oh fuck, Toby's that little china girl.
MR. WHITE
What's that?
JOE
I found this old address book in a jacket I ain't worn in a coon's age. Toby what? What the fuck was her last name?
MR. BROWN
Where was I?
MR. ORANGE
You said "True Blue" was about a nice girl who finds a sensitive fella. But "Like a Virgin" was a metaphor for big dicks.
MR. BROWN
Let me tell ya what "Like a Virgin"'s about. It's about some cooze who's a regular fuck machine. I mean all the time, morning, day, night, afternoon, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick.
MR. BLUE
How many dicks was that?
MR. WHITE
A lot.
MR. BROWN
Then one day she meets a John Holmes motherfucker, and it's like, whoa baby. This mother fucker's like Charles Bronson in "The Great Escape." He's diggin tunnels. Now she's gettin this serious dick action, she's feelin something she ain't felt since forever. Pain.
JOE
Chew? Toby Chew? No.
MR. BROWN
It hurts. It hurts her. It shouldn't hurt. Her pussy should be Bubble-Yum by now. But when this cat fucks her, it hurts. It hurts like the first time. The pain is reminding a fuck machine what it was like to be a virgin. Hence, "Like a Virgin."

(Po nieudanym skoku Mr. Pink i Mr. White, czekając na resztę, rozmawiają o swojej ucieczce przed policją)
MR. PINK
Tagged a couple of cops. Did you kill anybody?
MR. WHITE
A few cops.
MR. PINK
No real people?
MR. WHITE
Uh-uh, just cops.

(Mr. White kłóci się z Mr. Blonde’em)
MR. WHITE
You almost killed me, asshole! If I had any idea what type of guy you were, I never would've agreed to work with you!
MR. BLONDE
You gonna bark all day, little doggie, or are you gonna bite?
MR. WHITE
What was that? I'm sorry, I didn't catch it. Would you repeat it?
MR. BLONDE
I said: "Are you gonna bark all day, doggie, or are you gonna bite?"
MR. PINK
Both of you two assholes knock it the fuck off and calm down!

(Mr. White, Mr. Pink i Mr. Blonde ustalają, co dalej robić)
MR. BLONDE
We're gonna sit here and wait.
MR. WHITE
For what, the cops?
MR. BLONDE
Nice Guy Eddie.
MR. PINK
Nice Guy Eddie? What makes you think Nice Guy's anywhere but on a plane half way to Costa Rica?
MR. BLONDE
Cause I just talked to him. He's on his way down here, and nobody's going anywhere till he gets here.
MR. WHITE
You talked to Nice Guy Eddie? Why the fuck didn't you say that in the first place?
MR. BLONDE
You didn't ask.
MR. WHITE
Hardy-fuckin-har.

(Mr. Blonde zostaje sam na sam z policjantem przywiązanym do krzesła)
MR. BLONDE
Alone at last… Guess what, I think I'm parked in the red zone… (laughs) Now where were we?
COP
I told you I don't know anything about any fucking set up. I've only been on the force eight months, nobody tells me anything! I don't know anything! You can torture me if you want…
MR. BLONDE
Torture you… That’s a good… that’s a good idea. I like that one.
COP
Your boss even said there wasn't a set up.
MR. BLONDE
First off, I don't have a boss. Are you clear about that? (uderza policjanta) I asked you a question. Are you clear about that?
COP
Yes.
MR. BLONDE
Now I'm not gonna bullshit you. I don't really care about what you know or don't know. I'm gonna torture you for awhile regardless. Not to get information, but because torturing a cop amuses me. There's nothing you can say, there's nothing you can do. Except pray for death.

(Pierwsze zebranie przed skokiem, Joe nadaje wszystkim ksywki)
JOE
Okay, let me introduce everybody to everybody. But once again, at the risk of being redundant, if I even think I hear somebody telling or referring to somebody by their Christian name... you won't want to be you. Okay, quickly: Mr. Brown, Mr. White, Mr. Blonde, Mr. Blue, Mr. Orange and Mr. Pink.
MR. PINK
Why am I Mr. Pink?
JOE
Cause you're a faggot.
(everybody laughs)
MR. PINK
Why can't we pick out our own colors?
JOE
I tried that once, it don't work. You get four guys fighting over who's gonna be Mr. Black. Since nobody knows anybody else, nobody wants to back down. So forget it, I pick. Be thankful you're not Mr. Yellow.
MR. BROWN
Yeah, but Mr. Brown? That's too close to Mr. Shit.
(everybody laughs)
MR. PINK
Yeah, Mr. Pink sounds like Mr. Pussy. Tell you what, let me be Mr. Purple. That sounds good to me, I'm Mr. Purple.
JOE
You're not Mr. Purple, somebody from another job's Mr. Purple. You're Mr. Pink.
MR. WHITE
Who cares what your name is? Who cares if you're Mr. Pink, Mr. Purple, Mr. Pussy, Mr. Piss...
MR. PINK
Oh that's really easy for you to say, you're Mr. White. You gotta cool-sounding name. So tell me, Mr. White, if you think "Mr. Pink" is no big deal, you wanna trade?
JOE
Nobody's trading with anybody! Look, this ain't a goddamn fuckin city counsel meeting! Listen up Mr. Pink. We got two ways here, my way or the highway. And you can go down either of 'em. So what's it gonna be, Mr. Pink?
MR. PINK
Jesus Christ, Joe. Fuckin forget it. This is beneath me. I'm Mr. Pink, let's move on.

(Mr. Orange i Mr. White omawiają ostatnie szczegóły przed skokiem)
MR. ORANGE
What if the manager won't give up the diamonds?
MR. WHITE
When you're dealing with a store like this, they're insured up the ass. They're not supposed to give you and resistance whatsoever. If you get a customer or an employee who thinks he's Charles Bronson, take the butt of your gun and smash their nose in. Drops 'em right to the floor. Everyone jumps, he falls down, screaming, blood squirts out his nose. Freaks everybody out. Nobody says fuckin shit after that. You might get some bitch talk shit to ya. But give her a look, like you're gonna smash her in the face next. Watch her shut the fuck up. Now if it's a manager, that's a different story. The managers know better than to fuck around. So if one's givin you static, he probably thinks he's a real cowboy. So what you gotta do is break that son-of-a-bitch in two. If you wanna know something and he won't tell you, cut off one of his fingers. The little one. Then you tell him his thumb's next. After that he'll tell ya if he wears ladies’ underwear… I'm hungry, let's get a taco.